There is a very commonly-used Hindi idiom, ‘Choodiyan Pehen Ke Baithna‘. It literally translates to “sitting with bangles in your arms.” It might seem like a harmless comment, but it is far from that. This phrase is often directed at men to imply their weakness, passivity, or cowardice. Since bangles (Choodiyan) are traditionally linked to femininity, the saying suggests that wearing them makes someone incapable of bravery or strength. It reinforces the stereotype that women are inherently weaker or less capable. In other words, “Choodiyan Pehen Ke Baithna” is a coded language that equates femininity with weakness, using it to belittle men.
The reality is that we all use misogynistic phrases like this, regardless of the gender we identify with. Growing up in a society that clearly favours men, a part of you (consciously or not) tends to internalise and reflect those biases. The tricky part is that sexist phrases and misogynistic language are not always obvious. They slip into daily conversations because they are often indirect or “coded.”
Coded language: A subtle tool for discrimination and bias
Coded language actively perpetuates discrimination against minorities, whether it is people of colour, women, or the LGBTQ+ community. It works like a smoke screen for bias. It masks phrases that seem harmless on the surface but carry sexist and misogynistic undertones.
The subtlety of this coded language makes it even more dangerous. Unlike other derogatory language, coded language expresses subtle sexist, racist, and identity-based stereotypes without using outright offensive terms. It cleverly enables discrimination as it allows individuals to express prejudices in seemingly neutral terms.
Gender discrimination at work
Women, in particular, face coded language regularly. Take the word “bossy”. People often use this term to describe assertive women. It paints them as overly aggressive or difficult, while men who display the same behaviours are praised for being strong leaders. Many women in leadership roles have shared how their colleagues (primarily men) label them as “bossy” or “difficult” for simply being decisive and direct.
Society often dismisses these language biases as trivial or ‘just little things’. However, they create a hostile work environment for women. It discourages them from speaking up or taking on leadership roles. When assertive women are continuously met with criticism instead of encouragement, it reinforces the idea that leadership is a male domain.
Coded language in job advertisements
Job advertisements often contain language that is inherently gendered, although this may not be immediately obvious. Certain words or phrases can carry masculine or feminine connotations, influencing how potential applicants perceive the role.
Jobs that use masculine language in their advertisements lead both men and women to perceive that fewer women occupy those roles. This perception discourages women from applying.
For example, Goldman Sachs found that removing the word “aggressive” from their job postings significantly increased the number of women applicants. This change allowed them to achieve a balanced workplace with equal gender representation at 50%.
Coded language in job descriptions also creates a “bro culture” by making women feel unwelcome in male-dominated industries. When women see these descriptions, they often decide not to apply.
Coded language and its impact: As seen in research studies
Research also says that women are discouraged from applying for jobs described with masculine terms, finding them less appealing. Specifically, women are less likely to pursue positions that include words like “active,” “driven,” and “confident.” Instead, they are drawn to qualities such as “honest,” “interpersonal,” and “support.“
Is this because women lack the capability to be “active,” “driven,” or “confident”? Absolutely not. The issue lies in societal perceptions. Even if a job posting specifically calls for a confident woman, the moment she displays her confidence, society is quick to label her as “sassy.” This term is never used to compliment or uplift women. Instead, it suggests that women should tone down their assertiveness to fit societal expectations, pressuring women to conform to more traditional, submissive roles.
‘Oh, they’re not a good fit.’
When employers say “not a fit,” they often use it to hide their prejudices. This phrase can reflect racist, homophobic, colourist, or sexist ideals.
For example, if a company has mostly male employees and says a female candidate is not a good fit, it might not be about her skills or experience. Instead, it could mean that she does not match the team’s existing culture or image. A POC candidate might be considered unfit for a predominantly white workplace. An LGBTQ+ candidate may also face this label, particularly in conservative company culture.
This mindset can prevent diverse candidates from being hired. That is because the established majority may filter out anyone who doesn’t resemble them. Ultimately, the phrase “not a fit” acts as a tool for segregation. The troubling part is that those who use these phrases may not even realise the harm they cause. They may overlook how damaging this language is to individuals who don’t conform to the existing company culture.
Leadership should not be masculine
In nearly every workplace, especially in high-pressure professions, phrases like “take it like a man” or “man up” often come up when discussing courage and toughness. When someone tells a boy to “man up,” it harms men directly by imposing unrealistic expectations about how they should express their emotions or face challenges. However, it also negatively impacts women indirectly by perpetuating stereotypes that link strength and courage exclusively to masculinity.
There was also the incident when Prime Minister Narendra Modi congratulated Bangladesh Ex-PM Sheikh Hasina for “boldly saying that she has zero tolerance toward terrorism,” “despite being a woman“.
No. It is not political.
We are not trying to get political here, but that statement is super sexist and chauvinist. It’s like saying Sheikh Hasina’s stand against terrorism is impressive just because she’s a woman, as if that’s some exception. We never say that about male leaders. I’ve yet to see a headline that begins with “despite being a man…“
Coded language like this diminishes the importance of being emotionally open and diverse in how we express strength. When society promotes narrow definitions of what it means to be strong, it harms everyone involved.
The final thoughts
The way people use coded language to address male and female employees reveals a lot about the ongoing gender imbalance in various fields. When job descriptions, workplace communication, and casual conversations use more coded language, it further perpetuates the cycle of bias and discrimination.
To challenge this, organisations must adopt more inclusive language practices that embrace diversity and equality. By recognising and eliminating these subtle sexist expressions, we can begin to break down harmful gender stereotypes and create more inclusive workplaces for everyone.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are based on the writer’s insights, supported by data and resources available both online and offline, as applicable. Changeincontent.com is committed to promoting inclusivity across all forms of content, which we define broadly to include media, policies, law, and history—encompassing all elements that influence the lives of women and gender-queer individuals. Our goal is to promote understanding and advocate for comprehensive inclusivity.
