People somehow still have many outdated gender roles and rules for women, particularly the idea that women should do more cleaning than men. Another one is that women should handle all the cooking, cleaning, and household chores. These are primary examples showcasing women and the weight of expectations. That is societal gaslighting at its finest. It convinces us that women “MUST” be better at house chores.
Do you think a woman is born with a natural talent for cleaning? Or is she genetically predisposed to enjoy cleaning? Absolutely not. The tag of domestic labour is not something you inherit at birth just because you are a girl. It is a reflection of the patriarchal mindset surrounding women’s roles and responsibilities within the household.
Why is it special when men help?
A glaring example of this imbalance is how society views men when they contribute to household work. When a man cooks or cleans, people see it as extraordinary. Social media lights up with posts, the family WhatsApp groups are full of pictures, and family members gush with praise. Yet, women perform these tasks daily without the same level of appreciation. It highlights how ingrained gender roles are, where we see men as doing a favour but expect women to perform these tasks as their duty.
For instance, when a man buys groceries, families often treat it as an accomplishment. In contrast, when a woman does it, it’s simply considered part of her role. The disparity between how these same tasks are perceived for men versus women underscores the skewed expectations women carry.
Why are women always on a guilt trip?
No woman wants to feel this way, but sadly, many end up spiralling into thoughts like, “I’m a woman, so I should be able to keep a house clean.” Why? From childhood, society feeds women with the idea that their worth depends on their appearance and homemaking skills. Even if a working woman is balancing a job, childcare, and cooking, society is quick to label her as a terrible mother or housewife if her house is not spotless.
Even with years of progress for women, TV shows, movies, and ads still portray stay-at-home mothers as unrealistically perfect. They have flawless hair, manicured nails, and constant smiles. Moreover, there is no sign of exhaustion, and they are almost always middle to upper-class women. Most housewives never get the chance to pamper themselves, let alone look as perfect as the women in commercials. The reality is that many women can’t afford such luxuries.
The sheer amount of work, whether physical or mental, that women are expected to handle is genuinely exhausting. We often overlook their boundaries. We expect them to handle it all with a smile. What is worse is the internalised guilt women carry and constantly second-guess themselves. At home, women worry about work and wonder if they are doing enough. And at work, they feel guilty for not being with their children.
Women and the weight of expectations: An unequal load
Beyond household chores, women carry a heavier mental load. When a man comes home from work, the excuse is often made that he is too tired to help around the house. But where is the same consideration for women who have worked all day and come home to manage household tasks? This narrative allows men to opt out of responsibilities at home while women are expected to shoulder everything—without question or complaint.
This mindset persists even in seemingly progressive households. Some women are even criticised when their husbands help out with chores. It seems as if it questions their abilities as wives. Such ingrained attitudes place an unfair and unspoken burden on women, who are often left managing the house and the family without a partner in these responsibilities.
Women and the weight of expectations: A mother’s mind never rests.
A mother’s mind never stops running. What’s for dinner? Is there enough grocery? Do we have milk? Maybe. Better add it to the grocery list. Should she cook, or is takeout the best option? However, ordering online is not a simple solution as she needs to consider everyone’s health, taste preferences, and picky eaters in the house. Even while resting, her mind is planning, worrying, and micromanaging.
For a working mom, the end of office hours signals the start of another demanding shift. As the primary caregiver, her immediate concern is making it home in time to feed the family. This mental marathon of a woman is an unacknowledged labour that often goes unnoticed and unappreciated.
No matter where a woman is, at home or work, she feels like she should be elsewhere, getting something productive done. Meanwhile, men are off the hook, never taught or exposed to these expectations. It is a ridiculous double standard that won’t seem to go away.
The superwoman myth
Even when the mental load becomes overwhelming, it is not something a mother or any woman can easily hand off. It just doesn’t work like that. Even in couples who believe they have achieved a perfect 50/50 split, women still end up carrying more of the load. It is an unfair reality. Let’s face it: even if the husband does the grocery shopping, the wife is the one who writes the list. It is her who knows exactly which brand of chocolate spread the children prefer.
In most households, the bulk of the work falls on one person, and that person is usually a woman. It is especially common in heterosexual relationships. Women often end up doing most of the chores: cleaning, cooking, taking out the trash, folding laundry, and more. They are also the ones keeping track of when things need to be done. They have to make sure necessary household supplies are well in stock. With endless demands and sky-high expectations, many women burn out before they realise that “superwoman” is an impossible label.
Her workload doesn’t reduce. She still has to oversee everything. Women go the extra mile, double-checking details and being harder on themselves. This never-ending cycle of supervision and second-guessing leaves women perpetually busy, no matter how much help they have.
Women and the weight of expectations: The final thoughts
Society’s outdated gender roles continue to place an unfair and unacknowledged burden on women. Women are not born with an innate ability to manage households or care for families—it is a skill they learn and master through societal conditioning. The fact that we celebrate men’s contributions while not even noticing women’s work reveals the persistent inequality in our expectations.
It is time to ask why these imbalances still exist and challenge the narrative that places the majority of household responsibilities on women. We can only achieve true gender equality when both men and women share the domestic load equally—without one being seen as doing a favour or the other being left to manage everything on their own.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are based on the writer’s insights, supported by data and resources available both online and offline, as applicable. Changeincontent.com is committed to promoting inclusivity across all forms of content, which we broadly define as media, policies, law, and history—encompassing all elements that influence the lives of women and gender-queer individuals. Our goal is to promote understanding and advocate for comprehensive inclusivity.
1 comment
Very well articulated.